HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALICE!

Dear Alice,

Today is your sixth birthday!

Do you know how much Daddy and I love you? Only with everything we've got.

You are a remarkable little person. Witty, kind, smart, bold, creative — it is a privilege to be your parent.

You have certainly brought out the best, and the worst, of us both. For that, we thank you.

I'm sorry I haven't ended world hunger, or poverty, or war, like I offered to do in exchange for your healthy arrival. When, humbled by my third miscarriage, I surrendered myself to God's will and promised to help the entire world if he would just make me into a mother.

Here is a promise that I will keep: to do my best to fit you with all the skills and knowledge you will need to make a good, fulfilling life for yourself, filled with love and adventure and, when it's time, to have the courage and wisdom to let you go.

But today, you are six. A perfect combination of 'big girl' and my little baby. Too big for the sling but not too big for my or Daddy's arms.

Happy Birthday Pumpkin! Have a great, great day!

Love,

Mommy (and Daddy, too)


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COMING SOON:

FATHER'S WEEK

New research shows that fathers get some of the same cognitive and physical benefits from their own altered biochemistry, as mothers do, once the baby arrives.

We'll be asking a few Dads we know if there is such a thing as a "Daddy Brain".

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To read more about The MotherHood magazine, or to order back issues, go to http://www.themotherhoodmagazine.com/, or contact us at themotherhood@comcast.net.

Mother's Day 2009

"Dear 'Momma',

When did that become your name?

I used to call you Lisa. I guess everyone's life is transformed by becoming a parent.

It's been a good year; our child is thriving. Mostly because she's a good kid who is programmed to thrive. But also because of the choices we've made for her. And when I say 'we' - I mean mostly you.

I'm sorry that Mother's Day is always such chaos - paying homage to all the mothers across the tri-state area. We should pencil in a day of peace and rest for you - one of these years.

Anyway, I fear that this card, unaccompanied by a gift, will be the launching pad for another blog entry on lame husband behavior.

But here's the deal: I love you.

You're a great momma, wife, person.

I celebrate you today.

Love,

Frank"

NESTING, TAKE TWO by Lisa Duggan

THE 5BD, 4BTH, walk-to-town in our price range is a mirage.

It's a foreclosure — one of 29 foreclosures out of an inventory of 180 homes in Maplewood, New Jersey, according to Trulia.com — and we estimate that it needs at least $70K worth of work to make it livable. So, we bid accordingly, but the bank won't budge. Neither will we.

We are not the starry eyed, first-time buyers of October '99, who followed the mid-town-direct to our Charming 3BD, 1BTH, Steps-from-jitney-stop! starter home. Back then we pondered points and the inherent menace in phrases like closing costs and PMI.

I discovered MaplewoodTown thanks to my cousin, The Teacher. She had been scouting houses in New Jersey and did a thorough check of the place. Good schools, she said. I checked The Times. The price of a three bedroom house easily beat the price of a studio apartment in our Brooklyn neighborhood.

I checked the train schedule.

The rest, as they say, is history — the unprecedented, never to be repeated, history of this unique decade of American real estate. In the time we lived there and had our daughter, the value of our small house had increased to three times it's original listing price. And we hadn't even added that second bathroom.

So, in March of 2007, against the protest of family and friends, we decided to sell (freshly painted, new gutters and roof!).

Although we loved Maplewood, we didn't love our house. The second floor was cold in the winter, hot in the summer; the pipes were old and the furnace was about to give. Plus, we knew that our house — any house — would never appreciate by so much, so quickly, again. It seemed stupid not to sell.

We're looking pretty smart right about now. Truth is, we just got lucky. It certainly could have gone the other way.

The first time around we didn't have a down payment and we certainly didn't have a clue as to what owning a house was all about. Now, I'd like to think we're a little wiser. We know without a doubt that Maplewood / South Orange is where we want to live and raise our daughter. Not many suburban neighborhoods have as much heart and soul as these two towns.

We know what blocks we like and don't like, we know what school we'd prefer Alice attend. But it's still a scary and stressful process and there's the fear, as with any such large, life-changing purchase, of making a hasty and potentially disastrous financial decision.

Lisa Duggan is the print-publisher in exile of The MotherHood Magazine. You may send house listings to her directly at themotherhood@comcast.net.

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COMING SOON:

FATHER'S WEEK, Beginning Sunday, June 21

New research shows that fathers get some of the same cognitive and physical benefits from their own altered biochemistry, as mothers do, once the baby arrives.

We'll be asking a few Dads we know if they believe there is such a thing as a "Daddy Brain".

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To read more about The MotherHood magazine, or to order back issues, go to http://www.themotherhoodmagazine.com/, or contact us at themotherhood@comcast.net.